There are things that people do as parents that go against all of the ‘advice’ that you may get from other parents, books, etc.  I never realized this until I would sheepishly say something I did, thinking I was the worst parent in the world, and they would say “Yeah, we did that too”.  If more people shared their “Yeah, I did that to” ’s this whole game would be a lot less stressful.  One of the things I’ve learned to appreciate is co-sleeping, or sharing our bed with Nyima.

Before she was born I had a friend whose baby slept with them.  I thought “No way, man.  She could sufficate!  I’ll never get any sleep!  She’ll want to sleep with us forever!  They’ll never get her on a schedule!”.  We bought the crib, the monitor, the crib blankets, sheets, etc.  We bought a bassinet to keep next to the bed for her to be in for the first couple of months.

On the day we brought her home, the house was filled with people.  I spent most of the day in her nursery, trying to keep her and me from getting overwhelmed with all of the craziness going on in the rest of the house.  At about 11pm everyone went to bed, and she was sleeping enough that I thought I could put her in bed.  So I carried her into our room, and looked at the bassinet.  Then I looked down at her, sleeping in my arms.  There was no way I could put this tiny little baby in that bed!  So I went back to the rocking chair, put the boppy on my lap and covered it with a blanket (blankets, a no-no), laid her in her little ‘bed’ on my lap and we both slept that way for the night.  For the first 3 weeks, to be exact.  She spent most of her time sleeping on my chest (on her tummy, another no-no), we only woke for her to eat and me to change her diaper if necessary.  After a few weeks the rocking chair was getting tiresome, and my back was no longer pleased with the situation.  Again I was faced with whether I wanted to put her in her crib or the bassinet, and yet again I couldn’t let her be that far from me.  So into the bed we went!  By that time I had read some books about co-sleeping – the Dr. Sears books in particular are a big fan of co-sleeping, and it was refreshing to read that all of the instincts I had about where I wanted Nyima to be sleeping were okay and I wasn’t committing any mortal parenting sin.  We pushed the bed up against the wall, and I filled in the gap with the crib bumper (which, ironically, I had removed from the crib months ago after reading about safety concerns…).  I took off our fluffy comforter and used a couple thinner blankets instead.  I took off our fluffy mattress pad to make the mattress less pillow-y.  She spent the next couple of weeks still sleeping on my chest – she liked it there, I liked having her there, and it freaked me out less than putting her next to me on the bed.  But she grew and grew, and it was getting uncomfortable for both of us for her to be on my chest all night, and neither one of us were sleeping well.  So at that point I made the move of putting her in bed beside me, me laying on my side and curled in a ‘C’ shape, her facing me and laying on her side and wrapped inside the curve of my body.  She solidified my idea that she still needed to be near me when she slept, because even though she was no longer on my chest she still needed to be touching me.  So no matter how far I put her from me (which wasn’t very far), she would wiggle her little body closer to me until her feet were on my bent legs.  Then she would reach out one hand and rest it on me.  If I moved, she moved.  If she stirred, I stirred.  It has been the most wonderful thing ever.  This morning I woke up and she was laying there, looking at me and smiling.  My heart could not possibly hold any more love for her.

What amazes me from this co-sleeping thing is that my fears of her being safe sleeping in our bed are pretty much gone.  She sleeps against the wall, so my husband can’t roll over on her.  And I wake several times in the night, whether because she is stirring or because something in me just wants to check on her.  I thought that would interrupt my overall sleep, but it really doesn’t.  I never have to get out of bed, unless she has a very messy diaper.  We sleep, we wake for her to eat, and we go back to sleep.  At most we’re up about 10 minutes each time, the rest of the time we’re both sleeping pretty soundly.  I slept less when I was pregnant!

The funny thing is, I could have been told all of this before she was born and I don’t think I would have believed it, not until I felt that pull of  ‘I don’t want her sleeping away from me yet!’.  I don’t know how long we’ll have her in our bed.  I think until Jason and I both feel like not only she’s ready, but we’re ready.   Right now we’re feeling warm and fuzzy about our family bed, and enjoying that we feel like we’re seeing to what Nyima needs from us right now.  She’s sleeping 5-6 hours at a time, goes to bed at 10pm and wakes up for the day at 9am.  My fears of not getting sleep are over now.  She has set her own schedule, and it’s probably easier on me than the one I would have set for her.  Yeah, I’m still going to bed with her, and that makes it a little tough.  I’m hoping to get her to the point where she can sleep without me.  But I’m in no rush, she’s only 9 weeks old.  She’ll grow up soon enough…